What Goes On Upstairs

they throw a dance party every night and, needing to clear space for the dancing, move every piece of furniture in their apartment.

one of them has OCD and needs to move all the items of furniture in their apartment one foot counter-clockwise every night. (counter-clockwise as in around the apartment, or counter-clockwise as in moving just each piece on its axis? i don’t know, but it could very well be both.)

they have waxed their floors, and as a result every time they go to sit on or lean on a piece of furniture, it slides about two feet, and then they have to pull it back into place.

they are in interior design school and their homework is to constantly rearrange their apartment and photograph it.

they buy one new piece of furniture every day and every night must move everything else they already own to find a spot for the new stuff.

in an attempt to both get back at the landlord and eventually see into our apartment, they have decided the most efficacious manner would be to wear grooves in their hardwood by repeatedly sliding their furniture back and forth until they just poke through our ceiling, much in the same manner children think they can dig to china with a spade in their backyard.

and lastly, the theory put forth by my roommate: they are on crack and/or cocaine and have so much energy they literally just can NOT STOP MOVING THEIR FURNITURE.

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One thought on “What Goes On Upstairs

  1. Pete says:

    Hey….can I borrow six dollahs? I’ll pay ya back…I just need a quick six, that’s all…

    Promise I’ll stop movin my furnicha for the night..

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