Today’s Smatterings

on the britney debacle (since i can’t avoid it): i feel sorry for her kids. they are the only innocents in the whole deal, and don’t deserve to deal with her. you can take the girl out of louisiana, but you can’t take the crazy white trash louisiana (no offense to others of the state) out of the girl.

as i shared with pete this morning, i believe my right leg is possibly shorter than my left. every time i put pants on (any pants, not “shank pants” as he suggested), the bottom hem of the right leg scrapes the floor, with nary a whisper from the left. although i could just have that seductive hip sway down and it causes me to do a gangsta lean. (note: were you aware that marilyn monroe cut down her right high heel on all her shoes so she would have more of a hip sway? the things you learn on the style network.)

as i shared with pete on new year’s eve, i believe my left foot is smaller than my right foot. it continuously slipped out of my heel that night, with the right foot staying solid. i posited the theory that my feet shrank from the cold, in the same way that your fingers aren’t as pudgy in cold as they are in heat. he posited that that theory was crap.

my throat is sore. i blame everyone but me.

i cleaned up at the republic of banana last night. god bless factory/outlet stores. also god bless my new tweed pants that are to die for.

i am currently seeking a part-time cook. i only require you to be there in the mornings to bring me coffee and in the evenings to cook me yummy dinners. i am tired of these chores.

whiskey and water is disgusting as a drink. smells like medicine, tastes like sh*t. give me my mike’s any time.


One thought on “Today’s Smatterings

  1. Pete says:

    Shank pants and different sized feet? Are you literally falling apart without me around?

    As for the Mike’s, you can’t have them…I drank the rest. Whoops!

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