Side Effect

one horrific, very bad, no good side effect of this whole acid reflux debacle is the abrupt removal of caffeine from my life.  to illustrate the importance of this chemical or drug or whatever the hell in my life, let’s go back:


in high school, i was reknowned for my daily morning “breakfast,” purchased from the vending machines: a 20 oz. mountain dew and a reese’s.  i would nurse the mountain dew throughout the day, taking swigs when feeling droopy and occasionally even resorting to purchasing an entirely new bottle.  i literally had this concoction every morning of highschool for at least my junior and senior years.  my reflux swirls thinking about all of the acid in that pop (and yes it is POP not COKE as they say here in memphis…mountain dew is a PEPSI PRODUCT, get it right) hitting my fresh, empty morning stomach each day.


in college, as i have discussed, i quickly progressed from pop to coffee, though pop was usually my daytime and nighttime staple once i had finished a morning coffee in the dining hall and a cold bottled frappuccino at work.  coffee, however, has become an any-time-of-day pleasure for me, a lifeline, a healer of all things bad and sleepy.


then i hit junior year of college, fall finals, and acid reflux so bad i genuinely thought i was having a heart attack – i even called campus po and had them drive me to health services, where the night nurse handed me a bottle of mylanta all my own and tucked me in to a tilted hospital bed to sleep it off.  i was instructed to give up all things good: caffeine, coffee, pop, chocolate, citrus, tomato-based foods.  but then i was prescribed with prevacid, god’s gift to mankind, which enabled me to eat whatever the hell i wanted while i was in rome that january. 


the prevacid worked well enough that i have not had a flare-up these three years, and yet now i’m back where i was, in constant dull to severe pain.  i’m back on some meds, but i’m trying to cut out the caffeine from my life, and even the coffee, regulating it to an every once in a while kind of treat.  i am so, so dependent on caffeine.  and consequently, sitting here at work now (don’t tell), i am so, so tired.  i could sleep until tomorrow.  maybe even sunday.  i haven’t had any caffeine enter my body in a week.  life is bleak.  tell my friends i loved them, and that i’m happier in hibernation than i was like this.  wake me when there is a cure to acid reflux that enables me to go see my friends at the starbucks again.  i miss them.


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