last night, at approximately 10:55 pm CST, i was maced.  in my own home.  by my own boyfriend.


basically what happened was this: we were watching the food channel in bed (we are nerds), and heard a door slam.  we have pretty thin walls in our townhome, and often we hear things like this and can tell it’s from another townhouse, but this one seemed to sound awfully like our front door.  because i am paranoid, i keep mace in my bedside table drawer as a last resort against intruders.  i passed this off to the rev, who decided to give it a test spray to determine its readiness to fend off whomever – he sprayed it in to the toilet adjoining our bedroom and flushed.  he went downstairs to investigate, found no intruder, and came back to bed.  then, we both started coughing.  and my nose burnt like i had rubbed a jalapeno all over its interior.  the cough was just a tickle, but a tickle that would NOT go away.  my eyes watered.  we quickly decided that we should head downstairs while leaving the bathroom fan on to suck away the MACE IN OUR BEDROOM.  we eventually passed out on the couches, waking up at a point in the night that it was safe to return to the bedroom.  so the only perpetrator of the evening was the well-intentioned rev, and the only intruder was pepper spray into our orifices.  what a night.


One thought on “Peppered

  1. The Rev. says:

    I’m quite abusive, apparently-

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