so i’ve been reading a bunch of harry potter lately, for no good reason other than they’re damn fun books to read. it is from these books that i am deriving the title, “Splinched,” from something that can happen when novice wizards/witches attempt to apparate (or travel from one location to another instantly): you can leave a body part behind, or find it elsewhere on your body. this has happened to the rev, and gives me reason to believe he may be spending his days at hogwarts rather than work. well, i should say that he THINKS this has happened to him. he believes, and announced it dramatically as ever the other night, that his nipples are traveling outwards from a proper, straight-ahead-pointing locale to what may ultimately be his armpits. what probably really happened is that he worked out way too hard at the gym with weights, swelled up his chest from pulling muscles (evidence: he couldn’t lift his arms above his shoulders for about three days), and that gave his nipples merely the appearance of drifting away from center. daily, now, he ruminates on what could possibly be going on here, and how he has suspicions that i am somehow involved in a dastardly plot to move his nipples from their homeland. i am not. and yet, it is fun to make him think that i am. or else he got carried away apparating between our house and some wizardly destination, and he merely splinched himself. equally plausible.
Reveal a Secret Thurs/Friday XIX, Splinched